Contrasts & Revelations
by Triddlegrl
Summary: Seblaine. Blaine and Sebastian come to different revelations regarding the things they'd never have predicted for themselves. Prequel to Saything Things We Haven't In Awhile.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Bringing this over from Tumblr. The idea for this popped into my head when I was listening to my IPod and Creep came on. Darren would KILL this song.

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><p>There was a lot about Blaine's life that he could never have predicted. Two years ago if you'd told him he'd be spending his senior year at McKinley High and standing in front of the Glee club with conviction twisting up his stomach and his phone burning a hole in his pocket- well he'd have nodded politely and backed away as soon as he could because he wasn't the confrontational sort. At least not with strangers, sometimes not even with people he hates.<p>

He's got good breeding Blaine, and that means he's expert at biting his tongue and taking the high road but if there's anything the last two years- Kurt and this strange road to where he is now- has taught him, it's that sometimes you just can't. Sometimes you have to stare at someone with heat in your eyes and a pointed 'this one's for you' glare, open mouth wide and let loose.

This song isn't for Kurt, whose text message 'Just do it. What have you got to lose?' is the one burning through his pocket. Not for the boy he'd loved and lost and struggled to get over but for the boy in the third row of the choir room, too cocky, too careless with his smiles and his bedroom eyes and too damn unaware of the fact that a heart is for more than pumping blood.

To put it simply, Blaine never predicted that time would make him change, that distance would change even more that he and Kurt would ever be anything more than Kurt and Blaine. He'd never predicted that he'd be just Blaine again and how confusing that would be at first because he can't be the same but he can't go back to what was before either.

If you'd have told him two years ago that he'd kiss another boy because feeling wanted was the best feeling in the world and the grip of hands in his hair was a kind of pain he could handle. That he'd come back again and again to relive that feeling, to hear the sounds of filthy praise and his own begging- well he'd have looked at you strangely and politely shaken his head.

He's had one steady boyfriend in his life, one dream of forever, and one… Sebastian. Beautiful smile, beautiful hands, beautiful boy; but never fully his. And that burns Blaine after awhile, more than being happy that his best friend is finding love again elsewhere even. It's the humiliation of needing something, someone, so badly that you can't breathe with it and knowing that they aren't even close to sharing the same affliction. He couldn't help but feel like he'd done that before and he wonders if he's not doomed to repeat the same desperation over and over again and it pisses him off.

_From Kurt: Tell him how you feel. Just do it. What have you got to lose? Beyonce has some excellent numbers if you need inspiration._

It's not that Blaine hasn't tried, but Sebastian has walls. He doesn't want to talk about anything beyond the present moment, he doesn't want Blaine or anything else to tie him down. For god's sake he'd sung Taio's Break Your Heart as a seduction tactic. Sebastian has the terrible power to take him apart with so much as a whispered word or the touch of his fingers and is it so much to ask for him to hesitate at the door before he went off to one of the many others whose names and faces Blaine carried around with him like they were his personal demons, when they should be Sebastian's.

He couldn't feel all of this on his own, it couldn't be just him bursting out of his skin and swallowing his tongue at any given moment at just the thought of what they were together. Right.  
>So Blaine nodded to Brad, looked to the boy in the third row and prayed that Kurt was right and he had nothing to lose with raw honesty.<p>

_I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control_  
><em>I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul<em>  
><em>I want you to notice, when I'm not around<em>  
><em>You're so fucking special, I wish I was special.<em>

_But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here._  
><em>Oh She's running out again. She runs runs, runs, runs.<em>  
><em>Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want.<em>  
><em>You're so fucking special. I wish I was special.<em>  
><em>But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.<em>  
><em>What the hell am I doing here?<em>  
><em>I don't belong here.<em>

He sang, and Kurt had been right. Watching the ever present smirk slide off Sebastian's face, the grit of his own teeth, swallowing the taste of his own bitterness and pouring out anger and sadness and everything dark inside him that kept twisting him up- it was a release, it was fantastic.

But it might not change anything. Artie and the others clapped when he finished, Shuester even clapped him on the back but the one person he wanted a response from was as ever, impossible to read.


	2. Chapter 2

The song that Sebastian sings at the end is SafteySuits Anywhere but here. I just figured it's the kind of thing Blaine would love. Also, obviously much of Sebastian's characteristics are purely my own head canon. Until we see more of him it's hard to nail down his characterization but hopefully you enjoy him as I've come to imagine him.

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><p>There's a lot about Sebastian's life that he couldn't have predicted. Two years ago if you'd told him he'd be spending his senior year at McKinley High and standing in front of Glee club with conviction twisting up his stomach and dread sitting heavy in his gut at the thought of singing about his feelings- well he'd have laughed in your face.<p>

It's not that he didn't feel or that he had a problem talking about his feelings when he had them, it's that he has never seemed to feel the way other people expect him to feel. He's not into what other people are into, has always seemed to live life on a different plane than everyone around him. He doesn't get bent out of shape when bad things happen, doesn't cry during Bambie- Blaine gets the sniffles every damn time- doesn't believe in backing down just because the signs say stop or someone has the opinion that he should. He does what he wants to get what he wants, and if it happens to hurt along the way, well he knew better than anyone that bruises heal and he can depend on himself to make things happen.

He's had to depend on himself a lot. Blaine has theories about divorced parents and stunted emotional development and it should be a clue shouldn't it, that Sebastian lets him ramble them out until he just can't take how damn sexy he is when he's trying to play the angel of mercy and save his dark soul. Maybe he is a bit of a devil because he certainly enjoys bringing Blaine down off his pedestal and covering them both in sins.

Sebastian liked sex, he's not a liar, he'd never lied about his intentions and what he wanted. He wanted Blaine falling into his arms and begging for it, and he does- does it so beautifully it's become Sebastian's favorite thing- and it's all he can think about. Sebastian hadn't quite predicted that. What he had seen coming however was Blaine's questions, the dropped hints about commitment and college and long term, because this was Blaine. Blaine's world was cut right out of some virginal preteens day dream. He lives off of all the romantic shit Sebastian just can't bother with and he wears his heart in his eyes like it's not dangerous and it won't be a target. He says the corniest shit like it's normal, like it's a gift when he smiles all tremulous and pours everything he has into tripe that movies only sell, and real life people just use to get in your pants. Sebastian knew that better than anyone, he was that guy. He knew all the lines, but they weren't really honest, he never expected that they could be...but then he'd never predicted meeting someone like Blaine.

A year ago, when his mother got remarried and he decided he'd rather go back to the states than put up with his asshole step dad, he'd come to Dalton intent on doing what he always did. Getting what he wanted, making the Lacrosse team, getting into the Warblers and becoming the new lead. He was a firm believer in being the best because he didn't see a point in being second rate, and he definitely wasn't. But coming in to the Warblers and getting solos had proved pretty hard when everyone in the group seemed more interested in sighing over how _Blaine_ would have sung it and _oh my god this song would have been perfect for Blaine_. He'd never encountered so many reputably straight men with virtual hard ons for one guy before, and that alone had made Sebastian supremely interested in meeting him because he had to respect someone who left that sort of a mark.

He'd been expecting someone more like himself if he was honest, he hadn't predicted the short boy with the too charming grin and ridiculously over styled hair who'd peeked into the practice room that day but he hadn't been disappointed by him. He was good looking, smiling warmly at the rest of the Warblers as they practiced like a fond little mother hen, just the sort of innocent that made Sebastian want to strip down and make dirty. He'd had an inkling then that the other boy might have been the Blaine he kept hearing so much about because who else would show up to the Warbler room like that unannounced, but he hadn't cared too much if he wasn't. He'd been more preoccupied with getting the other boy somewhere on his back as quickly as possible and bending that halo he practically had floating over his head.

That hadn't happened quite like he wanted and that was yet another thing he hadn't quite counted on. Sebastian hadn't heard many nos in his life, and the last thing he'd expected was to hear one from a blushing schoolboy whose heart beat just that bit faster when Sebastian smiled at him and made him swallow his tongue. He knew the signs, he could practically smell the want on him and Blaine was not unaffected by him but he continually surprised Sebastian with continuous no. No, he'd say with his heart in his eyes and spouting poetry about his damn boyfriend- and here's a good show of Sebastian and honest feelings, he really hated Blaine's god damn boyfriend.

But he liked to chase, he liked games, he liked the thrill of victory when a prize was hard won. Another honest feeling for you. When Blaine had shown up at his door begging to be kissed, after weeks of slammed doors and ignored texts because he wasn't so good at dealing with hurt and depending on himself instead of beautiful blue eyed boys who came and went, that thrill, that first fuck was so good. Crawl inside you rattle your bones good, because there was so much teeth, so much heat, so much begging and one tiny sigh of relief before it all exploded and they crashed into each other because...finally.

Sebastian Smythe was not fond of being afraid, of not knowing exactly what to do and what to say and what he could depend on because he was always confident and he always depended solely on himself. So when he's laying in the dark sometimes and staring at the boy next to him and aching to wake him up because once, twice, a million times never seems to dull the need, this tiny part of him somewhere in the left corner of his mind gets scared. Scared is not what he does, he's an action kind of guy, so he puts himself to rights in the beds of others. He always makes good on his promises and he never promised Blaine anything more than what he gave him.

But then Blaine got up in Glee and sang that song, so angry, so desperate and he knew that that time wasn't like all the others. He wasn't going to be silenced with a kiss, he wasn't going to accept anything but Sebastian's promise to be the one thing he never offered or thought he'd ever want to offer someone. That's just who Blaine is and if Sebastian was smart (he is) he would have seen that coming (he did).

After Glee, Blaine approached him. So nervous but so determined, and for some inexplicable reason that made Sebastian furious. Because damn it it wasn't like he lied. He'd never done a single thing to lead Blaine to thinking things would be different and Blaine never had a problem with that when he was falling apart under him. Who was it that he'd run to when his precious Kurt got away? He'd had his teenage dream and what had it gotten him? It wasn't Kurt's name he cried out like the wanton desperate thing he loved discovering he could be, it was his, so what was his god damn deal! Why was he always looking for what he'd had with Kurt?

Fuck.

"Good song Blaine," he'd said not bothering to hide his sneer. "If I didn't know better I'd say it was aimed at me, but it's hard to tell when it's not a Katy Perry number. I didn't think Radiohead was your style."

"And avoiding talking about anything meaningful is definitely yours" Blaine had retorted trying to keep up with him as he practically stormed out of the choir room.

"Aw and here I thought last night in the car meant so much to you. My heart might be broken."

"You do mean a lot to me. You know you do," Blaine had insisted. "I love what we do. I love-"

"Not to sound like one of your bad movies but don't finish that sentence. I told you not to fall in love with me. I'm not him Blaine, you need to get that stupid thought out of your head once and for all."

"Sebastian... damn stop!" Blaine had finally shouted, drawing the eyes of several students lingering in the hallway on their way home from some other after school club or detention or the like. "Talk to me. _Please_. I don't understand-"

Maybe it was the way Blaine could say please. It was damn criminal the way this boy could beg and Sebastian hated that even now it made him want to push him back against the locker and wring every last plea out of him.

"Kurt!" the name came out in a burst, bitterer than he could have ever predicted. "I'm not your pasty faced little choir boy who is going to bring you flowers and think the sun shines out your ass, Blaine!"

"You think I want you to be, Kurt?" Blaine demanded, laughably shocked by the notion and it was really a god damn riot that he couldn't see what he was doing or that he honestly would stand there and try and pretend he didn't know exactly what it meant every time his phone beeped or Skype jangled and Kurt's name flashed on his screen.

"Don't you?" When Blaine had shown up at his door... begging to be kissed after weeks of slammed doors... wasn't that exactly what he'd wanted? Somewhere in his chest, maybe his heart-maybe another honest feeling- that just made Sebastian burn. And scared.

"Oh my god Sebastian you couldn't be Kurt if you tried..." When Blaine saw Sebastian's snort of contempt he knew what it hid so he'd hastily rushed on to explain himself. "I just mean you're different. You have to know that, you... you're not what I ever thought I'd want for myself."

"But you want me right?"

"I want you" Blaine had admitted so starkly that Sebastian had caught himself reaching for his belt loops and tugging him closer until he remembered himself and went still. He was frozen with Blaine's heat sinking into his jeans, belt supple and smooth against his skin, lips too close and too tempting- too just that bit open not to just not lean down and take what he wanted and he knew Blaine would give.

"Then why aren't I enough for you?" Why did he have to break them, asking for more?

"You are. You're not what I thought when I pictured this but you're exactly what I need, what I want. I want you distracting me at the movies because you're bored with it and you'd rather try and go down on me in public and make me crazy, just as crazy as you are. I want all of that because for the first time in my life I feel free to let myself have it. But I mean it. I want all of it and that means all of you too." Blaine had said softly, simply. "That's what I want and it has nothing to do with Kurt, Sebastian. It's just... me. I can't share you. Not anymore."

It wasn't the first time a guy had asked Sebastian for more or demanded that he needed more. Two years ago when he heard that speech- well he'd have nodded sympathetically and blown a kiss on his way out the door. Leaving lovers behind had just never been that big of a deal to him, there was always another waiting in the wings, more fish to catch. But two weeks of silence and distance- two weeks of Blaine not changing his mind and really calling it quits because he needs more than what Sebastian promised, three messages from Kurt, one from Rachel and even one from Dave of all people (like he's fucking responsible for making Kurt angry- when are he and Kurt ever on good terms?)- this strange road that has led him to the here and now, Sebastian knows something else he never would have predicted.

Blaine's not easy to leave. He's not anyone he wants to leave. He still wants him, for the sex, for every last bit of him that he can wring out every last day that Blaine will let him every damn day of their lives if that is what it takes. So that day when he nods to Brad and looks to the boy in the second row whose eyes still get too glassy before they refuse to meet his and his mouth twists into a frown, he does things Blaine's way. He sings about his feelings, honest and flowery and all the ways Blaine will like it because he knows how to get what he wants and who could have predicted it but he and Blaine, they want the same thing.

And so he prays that this works, that this time he wins and Blaine's answer isn't another string of constant no. He opens his mouth, lets loose and sings, pours out his heart, feels and doesn't give a damn about the people watching except for that boy in the second row- and Blaine was right, it's kinda fantastic. He sings.

_Is this the end of the moment,_  
><em>or just a beautiful unfolding of a love that will never be?<em>  
><em>Or maybe be everything I never thought could happen<em>  
><em>or ever come to pass, and I wonder...<em>  
><em>if maybe, maybe I could be<em>  
><em>All you ever dreamed<em>  
><em>because you are<em>

_Beautiful inside, so lovely and I_  
><em>can't see why I'd do anything without you,<em>  
><em>you just are<em>  
><em>and when I'm not with you, I know that It's true.<em>  
><em>I'd rather be anywhere but here without you.<em>  
><em>You're so beautiful inside<em>  
><em>so lovely and I<em>  
><em>I'd rather, be anywhere than here without you.<em>

The end.


End file.
